Want to insult a tree? El País can show you how.
STEP 1: Pick a tree.
Aim high. Choose a big tree. A majestic tree. The tallest living thing known to science.
STEP 2: Misspell the tree’s name.
Do it in a way that evokes a vastly inferior member of the vegetable kingdom.
STEP 3: Do it AGAIN.
By now the tree is so pissed off that it didn’t even notice that you called its home a “nacional” park.
The casual reader could easily conclude that El País beats its own not-giving-a-shit record on a daily basis. However, new evidence uncovered by alert reader LV suggests that the paper’s dedication to carelessness may actually have peaked three years ago. Behold the following paragraph of a travel piece about London:
Somebody jog my memory: Did we have Google back in 2011? Did we have street signs?
Reading the paper cover to cover can be awfully depressing—and not just for the reasons you might think.
The following typos were printed more than 300,000 times on tabloid-size paper and stapled together into a single edition of the bafflingly well-regarded Spanish daily El País.
Yesterday, Diari de Tarragona reminded its readers that “Massachusetts” is very, very hard to spell:
It’s true! “Massachusetts” is, by any measure, incredibly hard to spell. Nobody knows how to spell “Massachusetts,” not even the people who live there. Not even former governors John Hancock, Michael Dukakis and Mitt Romney. (Especially Mitt Romney.)
Even I don’t have the faintest idea how to spell “Massachusetts.” And yet, look how many times I have done just that! Modern science has given us Velcro, Twinkies, and several dozen different ways to spell words correctly without committing any specific sequence of letters to memory.
You don’t have to know how to spell “Massachusetts”; you just have to fucking do it.
It’s more fun to imagine that they actually did spellcheck this.
From yesterday’s El País.
Semana Santa is just around the corner! Not sure where to take the kids?
The El País travel pages recommend Madrid’s Parque Warner, a theme park featuring ostracized animated characters:
“Lonely” is bad enough, but “Toons” takes it to another level: the venerable cartoon franchise spells it T-U-N-E-S.
That’s all, folks!
Bill Clinton went on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week and talked about aliens!
How did La Vanguardia react? By calling the former U.S. president by the wrong name—frankly, the most confusing one they could have chosen.
A small mountain. A large knoll. His wife’s nickname.
WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT ALIENS RIGHT NOW.