How to insult a tree

Want to insult a tree? El País can show you how.

STEP 1: Pick a tree.
Aim high. Choose a big tree. A majestic tree. The tallest living thing known to science.

STEP 2: Misspell the tree’s name.
Do it in a way that evokes a vastly inferior member of the vegetable kingdom.

reedwood1

STEP 3: Do it AGAIN.

reedwood2

By now the tree is so pissed off that it didn’t even notice that you called its home a “nacional” park.

El País renames half of London

The casual reader could easily conclude that El País beats its own not-giving-a-shit record on a daily basis. However, new evidence uncovered by alert reader LV suggests that the paper’s dedication to carelessness may actually have peaked three years ago. Behold the following paragraph of a travel piece about London:

London

Somebody jog my memory: Did we have Google back in 2011? Did we have street signs?

 

Typo round-up: El País

Reading the paper cover to cover can be awfully depressing—and not just for the reasons you might think.

The following typos were printed more than 300,000 times on tabloid-size paper and stapled together into a single edition of the bafflingly well-regarded Spanish daily El País

coca-cola ligth

Bluetooh

Cundy_Crush_Scrabbel

Hichtcock

Massachusetts: very hard to spell

Yesterday, Diari de Tarragona reminded its readers that “Massachusetts” is very, very hard to spell:
Massachusets
It’s true! “Massachusetts” is, by any measure, incredibly hard to spell. Nobody knows how to spell “Massachusetts,” not even the people who live there. Not even former governors John Hancock, Michael Dukakis and Mitt Romney. (Especially Mitt Romney.)

Even I don’t have the faintest idea how to spell “Massachusetts.” And yet, look how many times I have done just that! Modern science has given us Velcro, Twinkies, and several dozen different ways to spell words correctly without committing any specific sequence of letters to memory.

You don’t have to know how to spell “Massachusetts”; you just have to fucking do it.

Only the lonely

Semana Santa is just around the corner! Not sure where to take the kids?

The El País travel pages recommend Madrid’s Parque Warner, a theme park featuring ostracized animated characters: Lonely Toons_

“Lonely” is bad enough, but “Toons” takes it to another level: the venerable cartoon franchise spells it T-U-N-E-S.

That’s all, folks!

King of the hill

Bill Clinton went on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week and talked about aliens!

How did La Vanguardia react? By calling the former U.S. president by the wrong name—frankly, the most confusing one they could have chosen.

Hill Clinton

A small mountain. A large knoll. His wife’s nickname.

WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT ALIENS RIGHT NOW.