Do your dutty

Massimo Dutti is owned by Inditex, the fashion behemoth founded by Spain’s richest man, the elusive blazzillionaire Amancio Ortega. With hundreds of locations on prestigious retail streets across Spain, Massimo Dutti itself is anything but elusive. In fact, there is a Massimo Dutti directly across the street from La Vanguardia‘s offices on Barcelona’s Avinguda Diagonal.

So what, exactly, is this garbage?

Massimo Dutty

Go downstairs. Squint in the sun. Apply SPF 50 to your pasty, malnourished face. Look both ways. Cross the street. I hope you brought your notepad! There it is, a shining beacon of hope:

Massimo Dutti

M-A-S-S-I-M-O … D-U-T-T-I. Congratulate yourself on this feat of shoe-leather reporting and quickly retreat to the mother ship.

Or, I don’t know, Google it?

Or look at the next sentence of your own damn article?

Massimo Dutti

Anything! Just do your duty!
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Brought to you by MJS.

The chatering classes

La Vanguardia made some harsh remarks today about Catherine Zeta-Jones, but somehow they just didn’t pack the punch that they might have:

Chaterine Z. Jones

It’s hard to say what’s worse: 1) The sad fate met by CZJ’s perfectly common first name, or 2) The fact that the first (and best) half of her double-barreled last name is rudely downgraded to middle initial.

People, please! If you must hurl a public insult, proofread it.

CZJ looks fantastic, and everyone else involved looks like a blooming idiot.

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Thanks, MJS. We can see your fingers.

HONK HONK HONK

ABC was recently foiled by its namesake and nemesis—the alphabet—while reporting some weird news from everyone’s favorite Special Administrative Region.

Be warned: this story makes no sense on several levels. But you come here for the typos, so it’s typos we provide:

Honk Kong